Malankara World Journal - Christian Spirituality from an Orthodox Perspective
Malankara World Journal
Theme: Bread of Life, 3rd Sunday After New Sunday
Volume 6 No. 345 April 22, 2016

III. General Weekly Features

Family Special: Five Things Your Wife Wants You to Know (But is Afraid to Say)

by Kelly Balarie

I look at him and he looks at me. I so badly want to tell him these things so that he can hear - really hear my heart. I am so afraid though. I am afraid that I will botch it up; I am afraid my words won't come out right. I am afraid that everything will be misunderstood.

Normally, either one of two things happens. Either I hold everything inside and blow up at the worst possible moment, sending out a barrage of words that make no sense, or, I act passive aggressively to indicate every need I have.

But, you know what I find? These attempts to get attention - to get my way - end up infuriating my husband even more. They straight up are the worst approach possible. I can see how he might feel confused and unsure of what to do next.

In the moment, I think my messages are clear, but to him they are unclear.

The more I feel unable to be understood, the more frustrated I get. Then, he gets frustrated because he has no idea what I want. The cycle continues – and I am even more afraid to share.

And, so many women, like me, sit in these shoes. We posture and position in just the right way. We try to indicate exactly what we need and want. We give you signs, expressions and signals. We give you looks, crossed arms and dirty eyes. We do it all, to get your attention, but when we really lose it is when you can’t decipher our female Morse code.

We think we our signals are clear as day, but to you, they are lost in the night.

But, there is good news.

Today, rather than making you study our secret language, we are going to break it down and outright tell you what it is that we need - so there is not an ounce of confusion. Take notes, because this is exactly what we, women, want you to know, but are afraid to say. This is what exactly what we have been saying to you, but you could never decipher. This exactly what we need, underneath it all.

Are you ready? This is going to be a defining moment.

So, dear husbands, here is what so many wives wants you to know (but are completely afraid to say):

1. We can be fragile.

We may seem like we put up a good fight, we may seem like we have things together, but often we really don’t. We can be easily broken. We may be hurting inside. Your words count. They count in our mind and they count in our heart. They count so much that we recount them often.

We need encouragement, support and affirmation from you. When you do this, we cannot tell you how special it is.

"An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels." (Prov. 31:10)

2. We so often want to know that you SEE us.

Look, we know that work gets busy. We know that dealing with the family, phone calls, sour business deals, dirty diapers, travel logistics and family portraits are wearing. We know this. We get this. In the midst of this juggling act, we just want to know that we are your all-in-all. We want to know that you would drop it all just to take a look at us - the one you married 5, 10, 20 years ago. We want to know that you see our daily struggles, that you see our work issues, that you see our passions and that you see our heart for you.

"In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself." (Ephesians 5:28)

3. We want to know that you love us above all else.

Many of us have grown up admiring our knights in shining armor. While times have changed - this desire to be loved and swept off our feet hasn’t - we still want to know that you would give it all up for our love. We want to know that you desperately, adoringly and passionately love us.

"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…" (Ephesians 5:25).

Let's break this down some more. How do you do this?

You love us in the most meaningless moments of the day by doing little things that are special. Bring gifts, speak words of affection, admire us, serve us, help us around the house, hug us, listen to us and spend time with us. When you do these things, we feel loved. The more you do this, the more loved we feel. And - bottom line - the more love we feel, the more love we want to give.

4. We want you to know: We see how you work hard for us.

We don't always say it. We don't always convey it. Why? Because life gets busy. It gets hectic. It gets crazy. But, wow, do we see what you do. It is not lost on us. We see your hard work, we see your passion for our family, we see your ability to multi-task and we see your self-sacrifice. We see it all. Because you do so much and you give so much – we often gain even greater respect for you.

We married you for a reason. We know your best qualities. Even though sometimes, we are afraid to affirm you for these things (mostly because we are feeling bad about ourselves), we still see them in you.

"The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down." (Prov. 14:1)

5. We want you to know: We want to trust you more.

Many of us haven't trusted a lot of men in our lives. Why? Because so many of them let us down. But, you know what? You are different. We can feel afraid to tell you how much we trust you because we don't know if you will believe us. Sometimes we think you just know we trust you because we don't question you in situations. But, underneath it all, want to grow to trust you more. We especially want to go the extra mile with you when you do items #1-3 above.

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord." (Eph. 5:22)

P.S. We desire to be heard. If you can listen and understand all that our heart conveys, we feel so valued and, in return, often want to respect you that much more.

"Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way…" (1 Pet. 3:7)

Source: Purposeful Faith blog,

Family Special: Protecting Kids From Negative Media Influences

by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

The Lord examines the righteous, but the wicked and those who love violence his soul hates. Psalm 11:5

One of the most disturbing trends in today's society is the increasing incidence of kids killing kids. It is frightening to realize that school shootings such as the one at Colorado's Columbine High School, where two classmates murdered a teacher and twelve of their peers, have become almost commonplace. Our culture-through television, movies, the Internet, and video games-teaches our kids to get even with or kill those who get in their way.

It's the same method that the Nazis employed before and during World War II. Recruits were required to perform disturbing tasks systematically until they were no longer shocked or revolted by them. They were desensitized to violence-as are children who observe repeated acts of brutality in the media. That's why the American Medical Association and other child development authorities recently stated what most of us have understood for a long time: "[The] effects [of violence] in the media are measurable and long lasting. Moreover, prolonged viewing of media violence can lead to emotional desensitization toward violence in real life."

Scripture describes our heavenly Father's feelings on this matter in the strongest terms: "Those who love violence his soul hates" (Psalm 11:5). Don't wait another day to shield your family from violent images. The stakes are not only your kids' emotional well-being, but their relationship with God Himself.

Before you say good night…

Have your kids been desensitized to violence by the media?

What can you do to protect them from negative media influences?

Lord, we must raise our children in a fallen and violent world. Sensitize our hearts and alert us to the darkness that deepens by the day. Show us what You would have us do. Amen.

From Night Light For Parents, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson
Copyright © 2000 by James Dobson, Inc. All rights reserved.

Career: The Golden Circle- How Great Leaders Inspire Action

By Nick Papple

"Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things." - Peter F. Drucker

Why is Apple so innovative?

If you watched Apple's launch event March 21, you might be thinking, 'What a dumb question.' 'Apple didn't unveil anything innovative.'

But of course, you'd be wrong.

The highlight of Apple's launch event last week was not any of the products or lower price points ($399 iPhone, hello).

The highlight was seeing Tim Cook address the elephant in the room right away.

"We did not expect to be in this position at odds with our own government. But we believe strongly we have a responsibility to help you protect your data and protect your privacy. We owe it to our customers, and we owe it to our country. This is an issue that impacts all of us, and we will not shrink from this responsibility." - Tim Cook at the Apple launch event March 21, 2016

[Note: This essay you're reading is not about the Apple vs. F.B.I case. It's not about encryption, the government, or customer privacy either. This article is about how great leaders inspire action. And after seeing Tim Cook reiterate Apple's stance on an issue that affects 1 billion people, I have no doubt Tim Cook is on his way to becoming one of the greats.]

So let's answer two questions today…

  • What do great leaders do differently?
  • And how can you become a great leader even if you're an employee?

About 10 years ago, bestselling author Simon Sinek made a profound discovery that changed his entire view on the world and how he operates in it. His discovery was this:

"All the great inspiring leaders and organizations in the world, whether it's Apple or Martin Luther King or the Wright brothers, they all think, act and communicate the exact same way. And it's the complete opposite to everyone else. All I did was codify it, and it's probably the world's simplest idea. I call it the golden circle."

The Golden Circle

why How what Diagram

Simon defines The Golden Circle as follows:

"Why? How? What? This little idea explains why some organizations and some leaders are able to inspire where others aren't. Let me define the terms really quickly. Every single person, every single organization on the planet knows what they do, 100 percent. Some know how they do it, whether you call it your differentiated value proposition or your proprietary process or your USP. But very, very few people or organizations know why they do what they do. And by "why" I don't mean "to make a profit." That's a result. It's always a result. By "why," I mean: What's your purpose? What's your cause? What's your belief? Why does your organization exist? Why do you get out of bed in the morning?"

FYI, these excerpts are taken from a TED talk Simon gave in 2009. I highly recommend watching.

Now we know what The Golden Circle is, let's look at an example. In Simon's TED talk he uses Apple as an example:

"If Apple were like everyone else, a marketing message from them might sound like this: "We make great computers. They're beautifully designed, simple to use and user friendly. Want to buy one?" "Meh." That's how most of us communicate. That's how most marketing and sales are done, that's how we communicate interpersonally. We say what we do, we say how we're different or better and we expect some sort of a behavior, a purchase, a vote, something like that. Here's our new law firm: We have the best lawyers with the biggest clients, we always perform for our clients. Here's our new car: It gets great gas mileage, it has leather seats. Buy our car. But it's uninspiring.

"Here's how Apple actually communicates. "Everything we do, we believe in challenging the status quo. We believe in thinking differently. The way we challenge the status quo is by making our products beautifully designed, simple to use and user friendly. We just happen to make great computers. Want to buy one?"

By now I hope I've got you thinking about Tim Cook's opening statement at Apple's launch event last week. It was pitch perfect. Let the pundits talk about how boring Apple's launch event was on March 21. But don't mistake the power of that statement - confirming everything we believe to be true about Apple as a company who challenges the status quo.

Without sounding like a total Apple fanboy, I'll just say this: Apple is consistent. Consistent in their products, in their marketing, and most important, in their message to customers.

Remember: People don't buy what you do; they buy why you do it.

Why Do You Get Out of Bed in the Morning?

Whether you're the CEO of company XYZ or you're an employee at company XYZ, if you want to become great, you need to operate under the "Start With Why" mindset.

Figure out why you get of bed in the morning.

Why do you do what you do for 8-12 hours every day?

If you really don't know, ask your boss.

If your boss doesn't know, it might be time to start looking for another job.

Great leaders inspire action because they attract loyal followers who share the same beliefs as they do. This greatness creates a ripple effect starting from the top-down.

If you're a business owner, then your actions affect your manager's actions. If you're a manager, then your actions affect your employees work. If you're an employee, then your work affects how your customers feel.

Choose to be great today - start with why.

About the Author:

Nick Papple is the Managing editor of The Daily Brief. Nick has a Bachelor of Science degree in Human Kinetics from the University of Guelph in Canada.

2016 © Early to Rise Publishing – All Rights Reserved

Digital Disruption Has Only Just Begun

by Pierre Nanterme, Chairman and CEO, Accenture

Digital disruption is at the heart of all the conversations I have with CEOs today. And this is not surprising, as it presents the most significant threats and opportunities any of us have faced in business.

When assessing the implications, consider the fact that that new digital business models are the principal reason why just over half of the names of companies on the Fortune 500 have disappeared since the year 2000. And yet, we are only at the beginning of what the World Economic Forum calls the “Fourth Industrial Revolution,” characterized not only by mass adoption of digital technologies but by innovations in everything from energy to biosciences.

While the digital transformation of industries will be profound, we must keep in mind that it will have wider economic and social impact, too, as with previous revolutions driven by steam and coal, electricity and computers.

Waves of innovation

We are seeing the Fourth Industrial Revolution emerge in a series of waves: the digital consumer, who enjoys more interactive and personalized experiences thanks to SMAC (social, mobile, analytics and cloud) technologies; the digital enterprise, which leverages SMAC technologies to optimize the cost of corporate functions and to transform enterprise collaboration for greater productivity; and the emerging digital operations wave, where companies are truly revolutionizing business with the use of artificial intelligence, robotics, cognitive computing and the Industrial Internet of Things. These waves explain why one third of Accenture’s revenues today derive from digital services.

The rapid pace and scale of disruption is unique to the Fourth Industrial Revolution. Digital companies can reach new customers immediately and at virtually zero marginal cost. They can compete in new sectors by collaborating with peers and competitors. They can massively improve quality and productivity by converging technologies and sources of data. Accenture and Airbus are trialing smart glasses that combine data from the cloud, augmented reality and 3D viewing to transform the quality, productivity and safety of workers on the factory floor.

Business leaders tell me that they are intent on disrupting before they are disrupted. They want to drive value from data in new ways, and they are embracing a world of rapid experimentation that allows for the ability to innovate faster. Success is no longer about changing strategies more often, but having the agility to execute multiple strategies concurrently. And success requires CEOs to develop the right leadership capabilities, workforce skills and corporate cultures to support digital transformation.

Turning to society, the implications of the Fourth Industrial Revolution are profound - from saving lives to creating jobs to better stewardship of the environment. In fact, the societal gains from digital transformation could be one to two times the value of the benefits to industries themselves, and even greater in some sectors.

More than a commercial opportunity

There will be challenges, however. We believe that the net impact on employment will be positive and that artificial intelligence will augment what humans are great at and make them even better. But we need a revolution in skills and a transformation of organizations if we are to reap these rewards in the workplace.

We must also make collective efforts to establish guidelines and regulations that maximize the societal benefits. Businesses could be more incentivized to assess the social impact of their digital investments. More demanding standards could ensure consumers and citizens have confidence in business models that depend on the sharing of their personal data. Mandates on technologies like vehicle telematics would accelerate the adoption of in-car insurance and other services that reward safer driving.

The breadth of digital’s impact shows that this is not merely a challenge to be delegated to chief digital officers and others. It represents more than a commercial opportunity. The Fourth Industrial Revolution demands that CEOs take responsibility for the massive transformation of their businesses and for the extraordinary impact that this transformation will have on wider society.

This article was originally published on the World Economic Forum blog.

Inspiration: Did I Do My Best?

By Abby

"Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly." - Robert F. Kennedy

Ever wondered what might happen if you really did your best? I mean gave it your all; served with ALL you had?

You're not alone.

In the early hours of September 8, 1860 a passenger ship on Lake Michigan collided with another vessel. The 385 passengers aboard were jarred from their sleep, confused in the dark, as water filled the hull and the boat broke apart.

Many of the passengers tried desperately to swim the several hundred yards to the shore, but the waves and the chaos made it impossible. So they grabbed onto pieces of the wreckage and screamed for help.

From the safety of the shore, a group gathered and helplessly watched the tragedy unfolding before them. They heard, but could not see, passengers clinging desperately to pieces of the ship in the darkened night.

A young man named Edward Spencer dove into the water, swam through the wreckage, grabbed a passenger, and swam her back to land.

He pulled her ashore, turned and went back into the frigid water. After several trips swimming out to the wreckage, each time returning with another survivor, he was so exhausted he passed out. Moments later, he awoke to the screams, asked that a rope be tied around his waist and then waded back into the water. This ensured that if he could make it out – the people on shore could pull them back to safety.

After his final rescue, Spencer lay bloodied and exhausted on the shore. He looked up in delirium, repeatedly asking the question, "Did I do my best?"

385 passengers entered the water that night. 287 died. 98 were rescued by a rescue boat. The remaining 18 survived because of the unbridled courage, selflessness and love of one man, Edward Spencer. He was told that night with absolute assurance that, indeed, he did do his best.

My friend, it's not likely that you'll be called into the frigid waters of Lake Michigan to rescue others. But every day, and every interaction, provides the opportunity to make a difference by doing your very best. [Tweet this.]

We can choose to not just show up at work, but to invest ourselves fully into it. We can decide to not just be involved in a relationship, but to pour ourselves into it. We can opt-in to not just enduring the struggles and monotony of life, but to being relishing the grandeur of it.

This is your day to recommit to being fully engaged in life. This is your moment to wake up, tie back on the rope, and get into the water and swim with everything you have towards goals that are truly worthy.

This is your day to risk greatly and achieve greatly by deciding to do your best.

This is your day. Live Inspired.

John O'Leary - Live Inspired.

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