Malankara World Journal - Christian Spirituality from a Jacobite and Orthodox Perspective
Malankara World Journal
Themes: Mary Visits Elizabeth, Humility
Volume 7 No. 449 December 1, 2017
 

IV. General Weekly Features

Recipe: Duck Curry

By: Indulekha S Nair

താറാവ്കറി

താറാവ് ഒരെണ്ണംനന്നായിവൃത്തിആക്കി മൊന്നുസവാളയുംകുറച്ചുചെറിയഉള്ളിയും ഒരുകുടംവെളുത്തുള്ളിയുംഒരുവലിയകഷ്ണംഇഞ്ചിയും (ചെറുതായിഅരിഞ്ഞുഎടുക്കുക)ഉപ്പും മുളക്പൊടിയും (രണ്ട്സ്പൂണ്‍) മല്ലിപൊടിയും രണ്ടുസ്പൂണ്‍ ഗരം മസാല അരസ്പൂണ്‍ മീറ്റ്മസാല മൂന്നുസ്പൂണ്‍ മഞ്ഞള്‍പൊടി ഇവെല്ലാംകൂടി..താറാവില്‍പുരട്ടി ഒരുമണിക്കൂര്‍ വയ്ക്കുക....

പാനില്‍ വെളിച്ചെണ്ണ ഒഴിച്ച് അതില്‍കുറച്ചു ഇഞ്ചിയും വെളുത്തുള്ളിയുംവഴറ്റി ഒരുതക്കാളിയുംഅരിഞ്ഞുവഴറ്റി അതിലേയ്ക്ക്ഇറച്ചിഇട്ടു ആവശ്യത്തിനുവെള്ളം ഒഴിച്ച് അടച്ചുവേവിക്കുക.........നല്ലഒന്നാന്തരം താറാവ് കറി റെഡി...

Source: ammachiyude adukkala

Recipe: Lemon Chicken Caesar Salad
Ingredients

1/4 cup creamy Caesar dressing
1 Tbsp. fresh lemon juice
6 cups (10 oz.) torn romaine lettuce leaves
2 cups (about 10 oz.) shredded Rotisserie Chicken (meat only)
2 Tbsp. Great Value Shredded Parmesan Cheese
1 cup rosemary 9-grain croutons or purchased caesar croutons (optional)
2 cups cubed 9-grain Italian Bread
1 tsp. olive oil
1-1/2 tsp. chopped fresh rosemary
1/2 tsp. grated lemon peel

Directions

Stir together Caesar dressing and lemon juice; reserve.

Combine lettuce, chicken and Parmesan cheese.

For croutons, toss all ingredients together and spread out on a rimmed baking sheet. Bake in preheated 350°F (175 deg C) oven until crisp, 7 to 10 minutes, stirring halfway through baking.

Add croutons to salad and toss to coat with reserved dressing mixture.

Yield: Serves: 4

Source: Walmart
Used with permission. © 2017 Walmart. All Rights Reserved.

Family Special: 40 Lessons We Sought to Teach Our Children

by Dennis and Barbara Rainey

I will never forget that incredible moment when our daughter Ashley was born. The doctor cleaned her up and handed her to us. I (Dennis) wanted to blurt out, "Thanks for the gift, but where are the instructions?" When we started out, we had a few ideas of what it meant to be a parent and raise children. Two years later we added a son and we realized that we had better become intentional about what we wanted to do as parents and teach our children.

As a result we began a list of 25 things we wanted to teach our children. Then it became 40, 50, and even more. (For your sake we've shortened the list back to the top 40.) Some of these lessons began during the first year for each of our six children, while others were emphasized later during childhood or adolescence. Today our children are adults and our role in their lives has changed. We have moved from being teachers to being cheerleaders and advisers, when asked.

Raising children requires huge chunks of time, prayer, discipline, involvement, and relationship-building. This list of values and traits has helped us focus on biblical priorities in raising children to become mature adults of faith and godly character.

  1. Above all, fear God.
  2. Respecting authority - trust and obey your parents.
  3. The importance of friendships.
  4. Be in love with Christ and focus on your relationship with Him, not just on doctrine or on biblical principles.
  5. Have compassion for the poor and orphans.
  6. Believe God for too much rather than too little.
  7. Real strength is found in serving, not in being served.
  8. The power of moral purity and a clean conscience.
  9. How to motivate people without manipulating them.
  10. How to handle failure.
  11. Keeping your promises.
  12. The power of the tongue for good or evil.
  13. Giving too much rather than too little.
  14. The importance of manners and common courtesies.
  15. Viewing life through God's agenda - the Great Commission and the Great Commandment.
  16. Give thanks to God in all things.
  17. The importance of prayer.
  18. The art of asking good questions, carrying on good conversation.
  19. How to grow as a Christian.
  20. How to handle temptation.
  21. By faith, trusting Christ as your Savior and Lord, and sharing with others how to become a Christian.
  22. Seeking wisdom - skill in everyday living. Knowing how to make good decisions.
  23. Gaining a sense of God's direction and destiny for your life.
  24. Staying teachable and not becoming cynical.
  25. Obtaining godly counsel.
  26. The importance of flexibility and adaptability to cope in life.
  27. Truth is best passed on through relationships.
  28. Leaving a legacy of holiness.
  29. Keeping life manageable. Prioritizing decisions.
  30. Taming selfishness - learning you can't always get your way.
  31. Choices are yours to make and results are yours to experience.
  32. Respecting the dignity of another person and of all people.
  33. Being faithful in the little things.
  34. Character is the basis of all leadership.
  35. Life isn't fair - don't compare with or be jealous of others.
  36. Living by commitments, not by feelings.
  37. Expressing grace and forgiveness.
  38. A strong work ethic.
  39. Surrendering to the authority of Christ.
  40. How to handle your finances.

We should mention that, after number one, the items on this list are not presented in any order or priority. We realize the list may appear long and daunting. But we suspect that if you began a list of your own, you'd quickly find that it's just as lengthy.

That's because parenting is a long and challenging task. Fortunately we have a God who gives us the strength to accomplish the tasks He lays before us (Philippians 4:13). We encourage you to lean on Him. No we didn't perfectly teach each and every one of these 40 things, but it was a guide to remind us of what was important. But we never stopped training, teaching and cheering them on. As Galatians 6:9 tells us, "And let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we shall reap if we do not grow weary."

Source: FamilyLife Today®; Copyright (c) 2009 by FamilyLife®.

Family Special: 8 Ways to Eliminate Emotional Baggage and Rebuild Love

by Cindi McMenamin

A sign over the front door of a women's spa read:

"Leave your baggage at the door,
This is a place of love and rest."

I got to thinking about how appropriate that sign would be over my own front door as a reminder of how to enter my home. Especially because of the baggage my husband and I have unintentionally let through the front door over the years -- baggage that we've learned can reside in the walls of our home and eventually build walls between the two of us.

After nearly 30 years of marriage – including 20 years of my husband and I counseling other couples on how to maintain a closer connection – I'm convinced that it's the simple unintentional things, after awhile, that become huge offensive things that slowly undermine the security and health of a marriage. Like one dropped stitch that will eventually cause an entire sweater to unravel, one critical word, one careless act, or one forgotten gesture can lead to resentment that eventually unravels the foundation of your relationship. Likewise, when baggage from wounds and present irritations goes unchecked, it can wreak reckless words, unintended silence, or hurtful behavior we aren't even aware of. But those behaviors can be reversed.

If you've brought baggage into your home through the years, from something in your past or just day-to-day frustrations in your present, you can still learn to check it at the door and improve the overall atmosphere of your home so it resembles a place of love and rest.

1 Corinthians 13:5 tells us that love, among other things,

"does not act improperly,
is not selfish, is not provoked, and does not keep a record of wrongs" (HCSB).

Although we are not to keep record of our spouse's wrongs, if we are aware of our own wrongs, relationally, we can start reversing those unintentional actions and rebuild the relationship with simple acts of love.

That's what my husband and I learned to do. And you can do it, too, through these eight ways to remove the baggage and rebuild love:

1. Re-examine your greetings and goodbyes.

How do you greet someone you love whom you haven't seen in a while? And how do you tell them goodbye if you know it will be awhile before you reunite? Even if you see your spouse every day, and have for years, your greetings – and goodbyes – are still important. Take note of how you greet each other when you or your spouse enters the front door. And how do you respond when you or your spouse leaves the house? How you greet each other in the morning as you wake and how you sign off at night before you sleep are important, too. When you and I are careful about our entrances and exits – and our spouse's – we can ensure a more loving atmosphere in our homes.

2. Resist the urge to be critical.

It is in our sinful nature to be critical, and we can say hurtful things without even realizing it. So here's how to reverse that. Take Ephesians 4:29 to heart: "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Put it into practice by going an entire day without saying anything to your spouse except praise. The weight of negativity is lifted most easily through the cheerfulness of praise. This works for both the one giving praise, as well as the one receiving it.

3. Release your expectations.

This is huge. We have so many expectations of our spouse and whether we verbalize them or not, they know when they've disappointed us. Practice the Bible's definition of love that "bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things" (1 Corinthians 13:7) by realizing only God – and not your spouse – can meet your emotional needs. Encourage your spouse with the words, "I love and accept you for who you are, not who I've been trying to make you become."

4. Reach out, physically, with a simple touch.

Kiss and hug each other every morning before one of you leaves the house. Reach across the table or the couch to hold your spouse's hand, even if only for a few moments. Reach over to rub the shoulder of a disgruntled spouse even if they appear unapproachable. Research shows that marriages who practice this simple daily discipline of affectionate touch are much healthier than those that don't.

5. Remember the good times, not the bad.

As parents, we can all recall cute, memorable, heart-tugging moments when our children were young, and those memories keep them close to our hearts as they age. Yet why do we not hold onto those heart-touching moments with our spouses, as well? Scripture tells us love "keeps no record of wrong" and the sooner we choose to forget the painful times and just hold onto the good memories, the sooner we can move forward, out of a place of resentment and into a place of renewal. For me, this means asking God to remove the hurtful memories or offenses I blew off yesterday so they don't creep back into my heart and mind today. By releasing our hurts to God, we can make room in our hearts for healthier actions that the Spirit prompts us to perform.

6. Rally around your spouse.

When you talk up your spouse in front of your children and others, it not only presents you as a united front but it says to your spouse "I'm on your team" and "I support you." You can also do this by writing a random Facebook post saying "My husband is amazing. He just is." Or "My wife is still the one – for a million reasons."

7. Remove the zig-zag.

I learned in geometry that the shortest route between two points is a straight line, yet we zig zag in our relationships. We all start out heading in the same direction because we can't imagine being apart. Yet we begin to proceed in different directions, even when living under the same roof. Different schedules, different interests, and different priorities eventually lead to different destinations and eventually, indifference. To remove the zig-zag, begin asking your spouse daily, "How can I pray for you?" or "How can I help you get closer to where you eventually want to be?" And if the pressures of life have made you – or your spouse – a bit distant lately, offer verbal affirmation that you are still on your spouse's team and your heart is still going in their direction.

8. Revisit fun.

You might be thinking you and your spouse don't have fun together anymore. The fun is still there. You just have to revisit it or reinvent it altogether. Think about what made the two of you laugh and recreate it. Revisit memories that drew the two of you together. Reinvent some new, exciting habits like 5-minute back and neck massages during your spouse's favorite television program. Your spouse wants to feel desired, so write your sentiments on a sticky note and place it where only your spouse will see it and blush. Start a weekly date night incorporating something each time that once meant something to one or the two of you. Be creative and make it happen.

Cultivate a closer connection with your spouse by removing the baggage and rebuilding love. Sometimes it's as simple as developing new habits out of impulsive acts of love.

About The Author:

Cindi McMenamin is a national women's conference and retreat speaker and the author of several books, including When Women Walk Alone (more than 120,000 copies sold), When a Woman Inspires Her Husband, and When Couples Walk Together:31 Days to a Closer Connection, (which she co-authored with her husband, Hugh).

Source: Christianity.com Daily Update

Choose Being Kind Over Being Right

by Richard Carlson

You are given many opportunities to choose between being kind and being right. You have chances to point out to someone their mistakes, things they could or should have done differently, ways they can improve. You have chances to "correct" people, privately as well as in front of others. What all these opportunities amount to are chances to make someone else feel bad, and yourself feel bad in the process.

Without getting too psychoanalytical about it, the reason we are tempted to put others down, correct them, or show them how we're right and they're wrong is that our ego mistakenly believes that if we point out how someone else is wrong, we must be right, and therefore we will feel better.

In actuality, however, if you pay attention to the way you feel after you put someone down, you'll notice that you feel worse than before the put-down. Your heart, the compassionate part of you, knows that it's impossible to feel better at the expense of someone else.

Luckily, the opposite is true – when your goal is to build people up, to make them feel better, to share in their joy, you to reap the rewards of their positive feelings. The next time you have the chance to correct someone, even if their facts are a little off, resist the temptation. Instead, ask yourself, "What do I really want out of this interaction?" Chances are, what you want is a peaceful interaction where all parties leave feeling good. Each time you resist "being right," and instead choose kindness, you'll notice a peaceful feeling within.

My wife and I were discussing a business idea that had turned out really well. I was talking about "my" idea, clearly taking credit for our success! Kris, in her usual loving manner, allowed me to have the glory. Later that day, I remembered that the idea was actually her idea, not mine. Whoops! When I called her to apologize, it was obvious to me that she cared more for my joy than she did her own need to take credit. She said that she enjoys seeing me happy and that it doesn't matter whose idea it was. (Do you see why she's so easy to love?)

Don't confuse this strategy with being a wimp, or not standing up for what you believe in. I'm not suggesting that it's not okay for you to be right – only that if you insist on being right, there is often a price to pay – your inner peace. In order to be a person filled with equanimity, you must choose kindness over being right, most of the time. The best place to start is with the next person you speak to.

Editor's Note:

Richard Carlson (1961-2006) is the author of Don't Sweat the Small Stuff.  

Why Even Ambitious People Rarely Become Successful

By Benjamin Hardy

Success is not extrinsic… It's not measurable.

"Success" can only truly occur internally, because it is based on emotion. At the most basic level, success if your relationship with yourself. Most people are living a lie. They purposefully ignore and distract themselves from what they deep down want for themselves."

Many people want something more for themselves. They have dreams and ambitions. Yet, few of these people ever get what they intended.

Being ambitious isn't enough. Far more important than ambition is commitment.

When you're committed to something, you will be and do what is required for the attainment of that thing. You'll stop wondering and start building. You'll stop being distracted and start learning. You'll start connecting. You'll start failing. You'll get what you want, rather than have a long list of "ambitions." You'll have actual accomplishments that reflect your inner goals and values. Your external environment will reflect your deepest internal views and aims.

If you're committed to a marriage, you'll change in whatever ways are necessary for your marriage to thrive. You'll become what is required to make it work. If you're committed to your craft, you'll change and become what is required to do work at the level of your desire. You won't point to your limitations with a victim mentality. You'll change your limitations so they stop stopping you.

Only those who are truly committed will become a new and different person in order to live their commitment.

If you're not willing to change, then you aren't committed to anything beyond what you currently have. If you don't believe you can change, then you can't commit to anything beyond what life randomly throws at you.

The Myth Of The "Unchanging" Self

"Become a millionaire not for the million dollars, but for what it will make of you to achieve it." - Jim Rohn

Your life is a reflection of you. If you want to change your life, you have to change yourself. If you want to change the world, you have to be that change.

If you want to become a millionaire, you need to become the kind of person that can do that. If you want healthy relationships, you need to become the kind of person that has healthy relationships.

Interestingly, in our Western Culture, we falsely emphasize fixed traits and "personality" types. We believe very strongly in an unalterable "nature" which is uninfluenced and untouched by the environments in which we reside.

We believe something about us is self-contained, and exists outside of space and time. This is individualism at it's finest, and it leads us to believe in some theoretical and "true" version of ourselves, which cannot and does not change.

The truth is that you are always changing. Your brain and even biology are highly malleable. Your worldview is continually integrating new information. When you change a part of any system, you change the whole. Thus, overtime, as you have new experiences, surround yourself with new people, and learn new things, you emerge as a new person. Yet, these changes occur gradually and in real-time, and thus are almost impossible for you to notice.

Yet, as you learn new things overtime, your brain literally creates new connections and is reshaped. The brain you will have in a year from now will literally be a different brain than the one you have now. Especially if you consciously reshape how you see and live in the world.

Consequently, when you become fully committed to something, you throw the individualistic myths away. You are part of a dynamic system that is constantly changing.

When you're committed, you stop justifying mediocrity in the name of authenticity.

You stop lying to yourself about what you want and what you believe in.

You create an environment that facilitates your commitment, because you know that as a person, you take on the form of your environment. The only agency you truly have is to choose the influences that shape you, both internally and externally.

If you're not committed, you rely on willpower. You remain indecisive. You leave things up to chance.

You leave yourself outs. You never fully decide.

When you're not committed, you live in a continual state of self-hatred and internal-conflict. Over and over and over, you watch yourself consciously behave in ways that oppose your highest ambitions.

Only Those Who Are Committed Succeed

Being ambitious isn't honorable. Wanting more for your life is a common desire.

But being completely committed to something is not common. It's rare. It's rare because commitment requires, in the words of T.S. Eliot, "nothing short of everything."

The hardest thing you will give up is the false idea of what you think you are. You have no clue what you are. More importantly, there is no "you" that is fixed and permanent, only the individualistic idea you have of yourself.

This "authentic" self is your worst enemy. It's the excuse you have for not evolving. It's your justification for not committing to something bigger and better. It's the chain around your neck, stopping you from putting yourself into situations that will demand you become a better version of you.

As researcher and professor, Adam Grant, has said, "But if authenticity is the value you prize most in life, there's a danger that you'll stunt your own development… Be true to yourself, but not so much that your true self never evolves."

About the Author:

Benjamin Hardy was the #1 writer on Medium.com in 2016. He is a husband and father that writes about self-improvement, motivation, and entrepreneurship. His writing is fueled by his personal experiences, self-directed education, and formal education.

Source: Early To Rise COPYRIGHT 2001-2017 EARLY TO RISE PUBLISHING, LLC.

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