Malankara World Journal - Christian Spirituality from a Jacobite and Orthodox Perspective
Malankara World Journal
Theme: Resurrection, 5th Sunday After The Sleebo Feast
Volume 8 No. 504 October 12, 2018
 

III. General Weekly Features

What Your Credit Score Reveals About Your Love Life

By Bloomberg News

The higher the credit score, the likelier you are to form a romantic relationship

She's a 793? Swipe right!

It turns out credit scores are statistical shorthand for a whole lot more than the likelihood you'll repay a loan, according to a number of consumer surveys and academic studies. One study, released two years ago, looked at consumer credit data over 15 years and found that the higher the year-end credit score, the likelier the person was to form a romantic relationship over the next year.

Now comes a survey from Discover Financial Services and Match Media Group, parent of Tinder and other dating sites, that shows just how appealing a good credit score can be. Financial responsibility was ranked as a very or extremely important quality in a potential mate by 69 percent of the 2,000 online daters surveyed. That placed it ahead of sense of humor (67 percent), attractiveness (51 percent), ambition (50 percent), courage (42 percent) and modesty (39 percent). A good credit score was associated with being responsible, trustworthy and smart.

That's right. These amorous respondents effectively put credit score 18 points ahead of cute.

Those dating-app pictures of people in cool cars or cute gym outfits? Nah, gimme a scorching 810. A good credit score is more appealing than a nice car, said 58 percent of those surveyed. More people might swipe right if daters put up a screenshot of that red-hot percentage.

"If you've got a pretty good credit score, you probably have other good personality traits," said biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, Match.com's chief scientific adviser and a senior research fellow at the Kinsey Institute. "You're not only managing your money, you're managing your family, your friends. You're kind of a managing person. It says a lot more about you than a fancy car." She even called it "an honest indicator of who you really are."

She even called it a "Darwinian mechanism for measuring your reproductive ability." (!)

There is something to this. What do people want in a mate? Many want someone who is responsible, dependable, willing to commit and able to maintain a relationship. What does it take to get a good credit score? Mostly a long history of responsibility, dependability and careful maintenance of accounts. Both sexes in the survey valued financial responsibility highly ó 77 percent of females and 61 percent of men.

Beth Rahn, a vice president for a private equity firm in Chicago and a user of online dating sites, is one of the 77 percent. Rahn, 30, thinks asking directly about the credit score on a first date would be a "quick way to scare someone off." And if a date bragged about an 810 out of the blue, it would be a turnoff. But if the two of them were commiserating about loans or rates, say, and the 810 came up that way, she said, "my immediate reaction would be that they are responsible, on top of their expenses, they've been able to effectively manage debt in the past, whether it's student loan debt, credit card debt or a mortgage."

Dating someone whose score is similar to yours when you meet increases the odds the relationship will succeed, a 2015 paper, Credit Scores and Committed Relationships (PDF), found. When you meet, because married couples' credit scores tend to converge over time.

The authors analyzed 15 years of data from the Federal Reserve Bank of New York Consumer Credit Panel/Equifax, which covers millions of consumers and provided detailed credit record information. People "with higher credit scores are more likely to form committed relationships relative to other observably similar individuals" and more likely to maintain relationships, the authors found. They identified committed relationships by creating an algorithm to spot the formation and dissolution of marriages and long-term cohabitation.

The bigger the mismatch in scores when daters meet, the higher the likelihood the relationship won't work out in the long run, the data showed. For example, between two couples, one with scores of 700 each and another with scores of 660 and 730, the second couple would have greater odds of separating.

Mind you, it's also true that people with excellent credit scores are likelier than those with bad scores to be frequent exercisers and bigger fans of Charlie Rose than of Jimmy Kimmel, and to prefer hockey to soccer and dogs to cats. And Taylor Swift to Kanye West. That's according to a 2016 WalletHub survey of 1,000 consumers.

Even if we accept that the score is a proxy for inclinations and tastes, guiding us toward people in the same socioeconomic circles with similar financial behaviors, can that 810 really release a rush of dopamine?

Perhaps not, Fisher allowed, noting that dopamine is the brain chemical associated with feelings of intense romantic love. But there is a different brain system in which "it could really stimulate some of the molecular structure for attachment," she said. That system is tied to mating and reproduction and involves feelings of deep attachment. A credit score could trigger feelings about reliability and responsibility and trustworthiness, which could trigger that attachment system, she said.

At any rate (and that rate will depend on your credit score), daters may want to trust but verify. A survey done earlier this year for student loan company SoFi found that nearly 24 percent of respondents said a date or partner had lied to them about how much debt they carried. The 2,000 millennial daters surveyed said debt was the second-biggest potential deal-breaker, behind workaholism. That may explain why 40 percent said they'd rather talk about their socially transmitted diseases than their debt.

In the Discover/Match survey, only 7 percent of online daters said they would provide information on their credit score, debt level, income and spending habits before meeting a date IRL. For most people, the soonest they'd feel comfortable sharing financial details is sometime in the first six months of a relationship.

"It can be difficult enough to find someone you're compatible with, so to suddenly go from this emotional connection to this practical part of your brain, it can seem incredibly clinical, and you don't want that," said Adam Scott, a financial planner at Westside Investment Management in Santa Monica, Calif. "But if you don't pay attention in the beginning, you aren't building your relationship on a sound footing, and it will come back to haunt you." Being on the same basic page financially will "ultimately be one of the predictors of the success of the relationship," he said. "It will be one of the defining things, maybe even more than sex."

People may be hesitant to reveal their credit scores now, but "the data suggest that it might become the norm over time," said Kate Manfred, vice president of brand communications and consumer insights for Discover. She envisions a day when people "do dueling phones and you pull up your scores right there, in under 60 seconds. You pull out your phone and say, 'Look, here's my credit score, what's yours? Let's swap.'" Or, as Shakespeare wrote:

My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun
Her sweetest gift, a lambent 801.

Copyright © 2017 Crain Communications Inc

Adopted Into A Family Relationship

by Ralph Bouma

"These words spake Jesus, and lifted up his eyes to heaven, and said, Father, the hour is come; glorify thy Son, that thy Son also may glorify thee."
- JOH 17:1.

Our Lord knew His own deliverance. He knew He would be raised from the dead. He knew of the joy that was set before Him. He had an eternal right to heaven and glory and also a new right by the purchase of perfect obedience unto death, yet He would have this right confirmed by prayer. So it is with all believers. Even if we are independently wealthy and have our assurance of mercy, yet we are commanded to acknowledge our dependency upon His grace as our Saviour taught in MAT 6:11-13.

"Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen."

This helps keep us humble, walking in the Spirit of Christ and dependent on the Lord. You and I still carry that old nature. We are still subject to temptation, and we must ask for this deliverance daily. The Lord wants us to acknowledge these things and reflect as a little child our dependence upon Him.

It is good to recognize that Christ did not commence His intercessory prayer saying "Our Father." He distinguishes between His relationship with the Father and ours even though we are coheirs with Him. JOH 20:17 says,

"Jesus saith unto her, Touch me not; for I am not yet ascended to my Father: but go to my brethren, and say unto them, I ascend unto my Father, and your Father; and to my God, and your God."

He is a Son who is coequal with the Father, and we cannot lay claim to that. We are sons by adoption in Christ.

ROM 8:15-17 says,

"For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father. The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God: And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together."

His relationship with the Father is the original relationship, and our relationship is only through Him. In our land, if you have a natural child and then you have an adopted child, you can disinherit your own child, but you cannot disinherit an adopted child. So now we become joint-heirs with Christ. We are not heirs by nature; Christ is. We can be glorified together with Christ, but we have no glory outside of the glory we have in Jesus Christ.

What an unspeakable blessing when we receive that spirit of adoption whereby we can, "cry, Abba, Father," that we can address Him as our Father. With such a parental relationship with our heavenly Father, we beam with affection, holy reverence, confidence and childlike submission, under the most trying circumstances. See Christís example in MAT 26:39,

"And he went a little farther, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt."

Think of a time when your child may have been on his death bed. It would draw all of your love and affection for such a one, and that is where the heart of our heavenly Father is toward His children. He was able to restrain His love for His own Son because of the love He had for such wretches as we are. We call into remembrance His parental love when we call to Him, "Abba, Father." We come with reverence, yet we also come with childlike submission. We can take the Fatherís hand as a little child, confident that He will take care of all of our needs. We confess that our hearts are in unconditional submission to His will.

See how that all Christís prayers are bottomed on this parental relationship with His Father. JOH 17:5 says,

"And now, O Father, glorify thou me with thine own self with the glory which I had with thee before the world was."

Our Saviour taught by His example and in His teaching that we are to come unto God through faith, addressing Him as our Father. MAT 6:9 says,

"After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name."

We are to come before God respecting Him and acknowledging that parental relationship, which denotes authority and submission, reverence, dependency.

The great work of the Holy Spirit is to rebuild this family relationship between those whom the Father has loved from eternity and Himself. In paradise, we see that parent-son relationship with God the Father. We rebelled against that authority. It is in that spirit of adoption that we acknowledge and accept that He is our Father, and that we bow to that authority, that we are drawn by that affection and love.

Those who remain under the "spirit of bondage" unto sin and self, may well cry "Lord, Lord," but they cannot cry, "Abba, Father." We see this in MAT 7:22-23,

"Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity."

They could not address God as Father because there was no humble submission to His will. They were not in His service. They were still working iniquity even though they called Him Lord.

Those who rightly "cry, Abba, Father" are not the workers of iniquity. Can you dare to be a worker of iniquity and come and say, "Our Father"? The spirit of a true child of God is a submissive spirit to the will of the Father. Our Saviour said in MAT 7:20-21,

"Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them. Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven."

Those are the ones who enter His kingdom. They serve under His Kingship. They humbly submit and obey. Amen.

Gracious Spirit, Dove Divine,
Let Thy light within me shine;
All my guilty fears remove,
Fill me full of heaven and love.

Speak Thy pardoning grace to me,
Set the burdened sinner free;
Lead me to the Lamb of God,
Wash me in His precious blood.

Life and peace to me impart;
Seal salvation on my head,
Breathe Thyself into my breast,
Earnest of immortal rest.

Let me never from Thee stray,
Keep me in the narrow way;
Fill my soul with joy divine,
Keep me, Lord, for ever Thine.
John Stocker, 1777

article 8 title
comparison between mother and father

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