Malankara World Journal
Father's Day Special

Volume 2 No. 81 June 14, 2012

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Very Reverend Father Dr. Kunnathu P. Geevarghese Cor Episcopa MD addressing the audience on April 17, 2012, on the occasion of the foundation stone laying ceremony of St. Gregorios Memorial Cancer Hospital and Research Institute, a super specialty hospital planned at Chelad Kerala, India under the Jacobite Syrian Church. Behind him is an artist's rendering of the proposed Cancer Hospital. Excerpts from his speech is given in this week's MW Journal. The full speech can be found in Malankara World with more photos.

Table of Contents

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1. Editor's Note

2. Bible Readings for This Sunday (June 17)

Third Sunday after Pentecost (June 17)

3. Sermons for This Sunday (June 17)

Sermons for the 3rd Sunday After Pentecost

http://www.Malankaraworld.com/Library/Sermons/Sermon-of-the-week_3rd-sunday-after-Pentecost.htm

4. Inspiration for Today

5. Special: Laying the Foundation for a Dream

Excerpted from a speech by Very Reverend Father Dr. Kunnathu P. Geevarghese Cor Episcopa MD on April 17, 2012, on the occasion of the foundation stone laying ceremony of St. Gregorios Memorial Cancer Hospital and Research Institute, a super specialty hospital planned at Chelad Kerala, India. Achen describes how the project came to existence and the plans for the future as visualized now. This hospital and the planned Medical College will be a major milestone for our church, when fulfilled. ...

6. Featured: Don't Use Mother's Day (or Father's Day) to Bash Dads

Much of the church sees men as a problem to be fixed when compared to women, not a gender to be appreciated. There's prejudice and bigotry against a man's nature in too many churches, Christian publishing, and on Christian radio, all of which have been beating men up for decades. ...

7. Going Back to Bethel (Father's Day Message)

The Bible tells us of a man who lived 2800 years ago who had a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde kind of existence. Jacob was a man with two natures. He was a man that appeared at times to be at war with himself. But he is also a man with whom other men can identify. On this Father's Day, we will look at the checkered life of Jacob. We will frankly face his failings. But we will also see the other side of his life. The Bible clearly tells of his shortcomings but also of the victories he enjoyed. ...

8. Prerequisites for Fatherhood

The greatest need in our society today is for fathers who will rise up and assume their God-given role of responsibility in the family. Our text gives basic responsibilities for manhood; but when a man becomes a father, those responsibilities are expanded. ...

9. Father's Day: The Model Father

We are a society searching for a model father. Is there any model? The answer is yes .... and no. There is no such thing as a perfect human father. Some do it better than others, and, as a result, this comes easier for them. None of us is perfect. I try hard to be a good father, and I fail. But I am not giving up. As a Christian, I know I can't do it perfectly. But I do have a model. ...

10. Little Children

Too often we stop ourselves for encountering God because we are afraid we don’t fit the “Christian” criteria. Well, I’ve got news for you; we will always be children in God’s eyes: messy, crazy, self-destructive children. But as long as we make him the single focus of our hearts, He doesn’t care. So take a lesson from these little ones, pursue God recklessly and don’t pay attention to what others think, for the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these. ...

11. Recipe: Mango Guacamole

12. Meaningful Sacrifice: A Course in Christian Spirituality

During the fast of the apostles, we contemplate their sacrifice for the church. At Holy Transfiguration Orthodox Chapel in Madison, Wisconsin, eight sermons on Christian Spirituality were given by Fr. John-Brian Paprock with the theme of "Meaningful Sacrifice" in order to clarify and teach the deeper meaning of Christian sacrifice in real life as well as in metaphor and story. ...

13. Humor: Differences of Opinions

14. About Malankara World

Editor's Note

This Sunday in Church

Bible Readings for This Sunday (June 17)

Third Sunday after Pentecost (June 17)

Evening

• St. Mark 6:4-13

Morning

• St. Luke 9:1-11

Before Holy Qurbana

• Genesis 42:18-25
• Jeremiah 3:1-5
• Daniel 3:21-30

Holy Qurbana

• Acts 13:26-39
• Galatians 6:10-18
• St. John 6:35-46

Lectionary of the Syrian Orthodox Church

http://www.MalankaraWorld.com/Library/Lectionary/Lec_easter-Koodosh-eetho.htm

Sermons for This Sunday (June 17)

Sermons for the 3rd Sunday After Pentecost

http://www.Malankaraworld.com/Library/Sermons/Sermon-of-the-week_3rd-sunday-after-Pentecost.htm

More Sermons

This Week's Features

"Those who live in the shelter of the Most High
will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
This I declare of the Lord:
He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;
He is my God, and I am trusting Him."
(Psalm 91:1-2)

Featured: Don't Use Mother's Day (or Father's Day) to Bash Dads

by Paul Coughlin

A learning season is upon us, and it's worth our time to heed its teaching.

This lesson is the difference between how we handle Mother's Day compared with Father's Day in church. If it's like in years past, it won't be pretty.

On Mother's Day, we will extol the value and benefit of motherhood, which is great. But in some churches, this will be done by degrading Christian husbands, which is not great. "Our pastor makes us husbands get on our knees on Mother's Day and beg for forgiveness. I don't want to do it again this year," one reader tells me. Another writes, "Our minister makes husbands write on paper all the things we've done wrong. Then we're suppose to give it to our wives and pledge that we won't do them anymore."

Most preachers will not be this heavy-handed. They will wait till Father's Day to tell men how to be better fathers. Of course there's nothing wrong with this message when taken as an isolated event. But when compared with Mother's Day, we'll discover that for some reason many ministers believe that fathers need correction on Father's Day (and Mother's Day too!) but women don't. Why this double-standard?

Because much of the church sees men as a problem to be fixed when compared to women, not a gender to be appreciated. There's prejudice and bigotry against a man's nature in too many churches, Christian publishing, and on Christian radio (I was a program director of a Christian radio station--I was part of the problem too), all of which have been beating men up for decades.

For example, if there is a problem with their marriage, Christian men have been told by these sources that it is automatically their fault. Dr. James Dobson is one of a few authors brave enough to confront this false message. He writes in 'Love Must Be Tough' that men are saddled with the unrealistic expectation that "any sadness or depression that a woman might encounter is her husband's fault. At least he has the power to eradicate it if he cares enough. In other words, many American women come into marriage with unrealistically romantic expectations which are certain to be dashed. Not only does this orientation set up a bride for disappointment and agitation in the future, it also places enormous pressure on her husband to deliver the impossible...Marital conflict always involves an interaction between two imperfect human beings who share the responsibility to one degree or another." Sadly, Dobson's common sense is drowned out by other and more shrill voices.

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I don't know everything about the Bible. But I do know two profound truths: It says a lot about morality and spirituality. Nowhere does it state that women have a corner on both when compared to men. Instead, it tells us that both genders are uniquely and equally made in the image of God. It tells us that both are equally sinful and in need of redemption. There is no privileged gender in God's eyes.

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I was told as an impressionable and young Christian man in church that I was "irresponsible, thoughtless, and selfish," when compared to women, who are innately more moral and spiritual. I don't know everything about the Bible. But I do know two profound truths: It says a lot about morality and spirituality. Nowhere does it state that women have a corner on both when compared to men. Instead, it tells us that both genders are uniquely and equally made in the image of God. It tells us that both are equally sinful and in need of redemption. There is no privileged gender in God's eyes.

Still, this rose-scented inequality will spread across our country this weekend, creating unintended consequences. Many will hear about the dark side of fatherhood in America, but few, if any, will hear about motherhood's dark side. How a child is more likely to be physically abused and killed by his mother, not his father. The statistics vary from 65% to more than 80%, which includes adjustments for single mothers. How wives over 40 and with children file for divorce more than husbands (around 66%), and their reason has little if anything to do with abuse or infidelity. How wives are more prone to begin a conversation more harshly than husbands. These aren't exactly family values. Listing these problematic facts of life will likely cause more shock than the facts themselves.

I could create an equally unflattering portrait of wayward fathering, which would include damning facts about fatherlessness and incarceration. But pointing out the ugly in each gender isn't the point of this article. The goal is to explode the myth of gender superiority, create a more biblically sound perspective, and implore today's ministers and lay people to treat each gender with respect and dignity during this important season by pointing out their unique value, which will foster genuine domestic harmony, among other blessings.

Here are some facts about the importance and value of fatherhood. None is derogatory toward mothers but instead points out the complimentary nature of mothers and fathers.

1. Sociologist Brad Wilcox from the University of Virginia found that conservative evangelical fathers rank higher than other men in the United States in most every category. "Conservative evangelical fathers spend more time with their children, hug and praise them more, are less likely to yell at them, and commit the lowest levels of domestic violence than any other group in America," he writes in 'Soft Patriarchs, New Men: How Christianity Shapes Fathers and Husbands.'

2. These fathers are "also the most active, emotionally engaged husbands and fathers in America" whose wives report the highest levels of "happiness, love and affection." These superior fathers and husbands are also more likely to "discipline their children, monitor their viewing habits, and know where they are at any given time." This is why Wilcox refers to them as "soft patriarchs." They "balance their traditional, authority-minded approach to parenting with a large measure of involvement and affection."

3. Fathers excel when it comes to discipline, play, and challenging their children to embrace life's challenges. They are more likely to partake in physical play with children, which is more important than many realize. Play "promotes social skills, intellectual development, and a sense of self-control." The playful side to fathers teaches their children how to regulate their feelings and behavior as they interact with others. Children who roughhouse with fathers usually learn quickly that biting, kicking and other forms of physical violence are not acceptable.

4. Fathers are more likely than mothers to encourage their children to take up difficult tasks, to seek out fresh experiences, and to endure pain and hardship without yielding. Explains Wilcox, "The bottom line is that fathers excel in teaching their children the virtues of fortitude, temperance, and prudence for life outside their family."

5. Writes sociologist David Popenoe: "While mothers provide an important flexibility and sympathy in their discipline, fathers provide ultimate predictability and consistency. Both dimensions are critical for an efficient, balanced, and humane child-rearing regime."

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Children of parents who engaged in sex-typical behavior, where the mother was more responsive/nurturing and the father was more challenging/firm, were more competent overall than children whose parents did not engage in sex-typical behavior.

The largest factor in predicting whether a child will graduate from high school, attend college, avoid crime or drugs, and get pregnant before 18 is the presence of a father in the child's life.

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6. The publication 'Child Development' found that children of parents who engaged in sex-typical behavior, where the mother was more responsive/nurturing and the father was more challenging/firm, were more competent overall than children whose parents did not engage in sex-typical behavior.

7. The amount of time fathers devote to child rearing increased 170 percent between 1965 and 1998.

8. The largest factor in predicting whether a child will graduate from high school, attend college, avoid crime or drugs, and get pregnant before 18 is the presence of a father in the child's life.

9. According to a recent report by the Department of Health and Human Services, "Fathers play a unique role in fostering the well-being of their children, not only through providership, protection and guidance, but also through the way that they nurture the next generation." But there is a huge catch. "A father's involvement with his children...is powerfully contingent on the mother's attitude" toward him. Research consistently shows that the father-child relationship depends more on the quality of the parents' relationship than does the mother-child relationship. See the problem? If men continue to be denigrated from the pulpit during Mother's Day or Father's Day, wives will be encouraged to have a low view of them. This low view may well drive a wedge between a father and his children, darkening their future.

10. This same report from the Department of Health and Human Services states: "Girls with active dads demonstrate higher levels of mathematical competence, and boys with more nurturing fathers display higher levels of verbal acumen. It is worth noting, of course, that girls tend to struggle more with math and boys tend to struggle more with language. Having an active, emotionally invested father appears to help children overcome the intellectual weaknesses typically associated with their sex."

11. Fathers are more likely to foster independent, exploratory behavior on the part of their children, compared to mothers.

12. Children raised by engaged fathers are more comfortable exploring the world around them.

13. A playful, challenging, and nurturing approach to fatherhood is associated with more self-control and pro-social behavior among children throughout the course of their lives.

14. One study of seventh graders found that boys who had close relationships with their fathers were more likely to control their feelings and impulses, to obey rules at school and home, and to make good moral judgment.

15. This same study found that boys with involved fathers had fewer school behavior problems and that girls had more self-esteem.

16. Boys and girls who are exposed to the nurture of a father, and who see a father being nurturing to their mother and other adults, are much less likely to associate masculinity with predatory sexual behavior and hyper-aggressiveness.

17. Fathers help their children, especially their daughters, develop the self-control and the sense of self-worth that protects them from premature sexual intercourse and teenage pregnancy.

About the Author:

Paul Coughlin is the author of 'No More Christian Nice Guy', and 'No More Jellyfish, Chickens or Wimps: Raising Secure, Assertive Kids in a Tough World.' He is the co-author along with his wife Sandy of 'Married But Not Engaged.' He's also a founding member of GodMen (www.godmen.com).

Going Back to Bethel (Father's Day Message)

by Cooper P Abrams III

Scripture: Genesis 35:1-7

Introduction:

In 1889, Robert Louis Stevenson wrote the compelling science fiction thriller The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. It is about a doctor who invented a potion that would change him from a respectable, reserved professional man into a deranged psychopath.

The Bible tells us of another man who lived 2800 years ago who had a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde kind of existence. Jacob was a man with two natures. He was a man that appeared at times to be at war with himself. But he is also a man with whom other men can identify. On this Father's Day, we will look at the checkered life of Jacob. We will frankly face his failings. But we will also see the other side of his life. The Bible clearly tells of his shortcomings but also of the victories he enjoyed. As we consider his life we will do so in the following categories. We will consider:

I. WHAT HE DID WRONG.

A. He lived a life of deception.

1. He was a schemer and a trickster and was selfish from the day of his birth. Jacob was born the second son of Isaac and Rebekah. He had a twin brother named Esau.

2. The name "Jacob" literally means "he that grasps the heel." When used figuratively the name means "deceiver."

3. As the boys grew, Jacob lived up to his name.

a. He refused to give his starving brother food until he got something in return (Genesis 25:29-33).

b. He then tricked his old blind father (Genesis 27:6-29) into giving him Esau's birthright, the right of the oldest son to become leader of the family when the father became too old.

c. As a result, Jacob had to run for his life and spent the next 20 years in hiding with his uncle. Uncle Laban turned the tables on Jacob and tricked him into marrying the unwanted sister of his fiancé.

B. He was a poor husband.

1. He married Leah first because of Laban's deception and then married Rachel. In a day when plural marriages were common, Jacob had equal responsibility to both women. But he neglected Leah. He perhaps thought he had good reasons. See if these reasons sound familiar:

a. She was not the woman he thought he married. He thought he was marrying her sister. He was startled after their wedding night to look at her face and see that she was not who he thought she was (Genesis 29:25). A contemporary Jacob would have said, "Wow, have you changed!"

ILLUS:

How many husbands neglect their wives today because they say she is not the girl he married. She either changed in her appearance or in her personality. Maybe her health changed for the worse. They feel they have been cheated and are justified in whatever actions they take. If he wants to divorce her or stay married and neglect her, he has a right because he has been short-changed in marriage.

The wife of a couple I married while I pastored in Virginia was in a terrible auto accident and was totally disabled. She had to have hospital care continually. Her medical bills were enormous. Her father in law, urged his son to divorce her to get from under the cost of her care. That is what he did and not too long afterward he remarried. So much for the vow he sore too before me the day I married them. They meant nothing to him. His actions proved that.

Yet, I have seen others couples when a spouse was disabled or became very sick they stuck by their husband or wife in spite of the great hardship it was on them. Their love and devotion was clearly seen in the sacrifices they made.

The greatest task we have on earth is to serve others and that service begins at home with our wives and families.

b. Jacob thought his right to happiness was greater than his commitment to marriage. He didn't divorce Leah, but he treated her as though she was not his wife.

ILLUS:

As a pastor, I have numbers of times sat with couples who are contemplating getting a divorce. Some of the time they tell of adultery or money problems. But in the vast majority of cases, the couples on the verge of a divorce who are seeking my counsel tell me, "we are just not happy." They speak of happiness as if it is an inalienable right. It is not! Where in the Bible does it say, "You will marry and live happily ever after and never have any problems"? The Bible never promises that all marriages will be filled with happiness and be problem free. It does say, however, that a man and a woman will become one. That oneness gives us new resources with which to face the difficulties of life.

C. Jacob played favorites with his children.

He lavished his attention on some of them and neglected others. As a result his mistakes were mirrored in the lives of his children. His sons were wild, unruly and unbelievably cruel.

His responsibility was to set the example for them and their families, but he failed miserably and that propagated his mistakes to his children and their families. Our sins are not isolated to us alone, but they effect all around us. Further generations suffer for the sins of their ancestors. The unfaithfulness of a father will be surely reflected in his children. The problem is some fathers may be only marginally faithful to the Lord, and they children will not be faithful at all. The unfaithful father taught his children that serving and being faithful to the Lord is not important for them.

On the other hand, the opposite is true also. A faithful father sets an example that inspires his children to love the Lord as he does. They learn what a family should be from their parents and the example they see. What a blessing to see a family....a true family...a Christian, love loving and honoring family. What a blessing to see their children love the Lord too and serve Him. A faithful father can do no greater thing on earth than to set a proper example before his children....and the example and blessing will extend into many future generations.

II. WHAT HE DID RIGHT.

We wouldn't have an accurate picture of Jacob if we looked only at his mistakes.

A. He had a desire to serve the lord.

1. In the final analysis, we realize that God chose Jacob. He didn't seem like the ideal choice. He was full of faults. Yes, there was some good in him, but there was so much bad. Yet, God had great plans for him.

2. Having stolen his brother's blessing, Jacob ran for his life. He ran toward Haran. For the first time in his life he was alone and away from the shelter of his home. Lonely and dejected, Jacob stopped in Bethel. In the bleak, rocky countryside, he bedded down for the night and took a stone for a pillow.

3. During the night, he had a dream of a ladder that reached from the earth to the very gates of heaven. You see God is reaching out to the wayward to bring them into fellowship with Him. He sees in us what He can make us.

a. He saw angels going up and coming down the ladder. God spoke to him in his dream and assured Jacob that he was not alone.

b. Genesis 28:16 says, "And Jacob awaked out of his sleep, and he said, Surely the LORD is in this place; and I knew it not."

c. Genesis 28:20-21 says, "Jacob vowed a vow, saying, If God will be with me, and will keep me in this way that I go, and will give me bread to eat, and raiment to put on, So that I come again to my father's house in peace; then shall the LORD be my God."

d. Jacob had made a lot of mistakes but deep inside he knew who made him and he knew that he owed his life and his allegiance to the Lord. How important it is for a man to realize that he is the special creation of Almighty God and that God has a purpose and plan for his life.

A man alone is a sorry creature. A man who does not accept he is responsible to God and that His loving creator wants the very best for him...is a miserable man. He is lost from his purpose and can never be satisfied, nor experience true life and the peace and joy of living...until he submits in belief himself to His God and Creator.

4. Jacob faithfully worked for Uncle Laban for 20 years even when Laban tried to trick him (Genesis 31:38). But even in the years when God was increasing his herds and flocks, Jacob failed to see that God was the reason for his prosperity rather than his own cleverness.

Jacob is the example of a lot of men. They know what is right. They know of God, but they just will not submit themselves to Him. They let themselves be easily distracted. They are too busy with seeking pleasure, money, fun, and living in the world than to serve the Lord. They are many a terrible mistake....trading things that are worthless for the eternal blessings of God.

5. Jacob finally broke with Laban and traveled toward the south. Once again, God reached out to him. Angels met him there and told him that Esau was coming to meet him with an army of 400 men (Genesis 32:6). That night, Jacob wrestled with an angel. He wanted God to touch his life and change him from the deceitful trickster he had always been to a man that God could use in a mighty way. The angel asked him his name and he told him it was "Jacob." He was saying, "My name is 'cheat and deceiver. I am by nature a cheater, but I want to be different.' And the angel of the Lord said that from that day on, his name would be changed to 'Israel: a prince with God' (Genesis 32:28).

What a joy it is to get one's heart right with God. What a blessing to see the reality of life itself and to accept the grace and mercy of a loving and caring Savior!!!

B. He recommitted himself to the Lord and led his family to the Lord.

1. After seeing highs and lows in the lives of his children Jacob returned to Bethel and to the commitment he made there years earlier. Going back to Bethel was a time of renewal for Jacob.

2. God demanded a high price for the sin in his life in terms of his own hardships and the problems he saw in children's lives. With his recommitment to the Lord, the problems of his life did not disappear, but he finally became the father he should have been all along.

3. He gave the order that all of the idols of the past be buried. You see Jacob knew that was what he would have to do if he submitted himself to the Lord. For all those years he could not give up the idols that pleased him. They were too dear to him, but now he saw the truth and he wanted God's blessing on himself and his family. He made the decision that he and his family would serve the Lord God.

ILLUS:

Michael Josephson runs the Josephson Institute for the Advancement of Ethics. He has conducted exhaustive studies of people 18-30 years old. He has compiled the results of numerous surveys and reports to get a broad view of the morality of the so-called "younger generation." His conclusion: "An unprecedented proportion of today's youth lack commitment to core moral values like honesty, personal responsibility, respect for others and civic duty." (Assoc. Press, 10-11-90.)

But if that is true and our children are morally weak, where do we lay the blame? We may try to lay it at the feet of educators, or blame it on television, or on the entertainment industry. But we know that we who are parents must shoulder much of the responsibility.

C. He prepared his children for his death.

1. In Gen. 49, He gave them his blessing and talked to them about the future. It was a future without him. But with all of his mistakes in life, he succeeded in raising sons that became the foundation of the nation of Israel. He knew that he was dying and he took his last words to give guidance and direction to his children.

Fathers, we are not as invincible as we like for people to think. Our children will someday face life without us. How will they live then? Where will they turn when they make decisions? If death takes us out of the picture before our children are off on their own, will we have given them the raw materials from which they can continue to build their lives?

CONCLUSION:

1. One of our duties as parents is to work ourselves out of a job. We look forward with mixed emotions to the day when they are mature and off on their own. We have the responsibility to:

(1) Teach them to live independent, Christ honoring lives

(2) Lead them to faith in Christ

(3) Continue to love and encourage them throughout their lives

In the 20th century we still can't get away from the directives God's Word gives for parents.
Ephesians 6:4 says, "Ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."

2. Are you like Jacob? You may be more like Jacob than you want to admit. May we fathers privately admit today our failures a husband and a father.

ILLUS:

My father was a simple man and not well educated. He never had a class on how to raise children. He was not perfect and he made mistakes, but in one thing was always consistence, he worked hard to provide for us and we knew he loved the Lord. He was faithful to mom and to his responsibilities for providing for us.

I did not know the value of that until after I was saved and submitted my life to Jesus Christ. I became a father who loved my wife and son and began to understand the responsibility. I remember what I was before I was saved. I am ashamed. I thought so highly of myself, yet I was a mere shell of man. Empty, wasting my life, hurting those I loved with my foolishness. Living for myself and really not giving true love to my family. OH how I thank God for changing me...for seeking me in the worthless state I was in. We have a loving and wonderful God...I know that completely.

The responsibility goes on also to the grandparents. We can have a great influence on our grandchildren and help our sons and daughters raise them.

3. You may look at the mistakes of the past and conclude that you have done such damage to the important relationships in your life that there is nothing you can do to rectify your mistakes.

4. But for every Jacob listening to me, remember that God is forgiving and seeks to be your strength and Guide. Remember that God has given you your family and if you will look to Him, He will give you wisdom to be the husband and father you need to be.

5. In the NT we read the post script of Jacob's life.

Hebrews 11:21 says, "By faith Jacob, when he was a dying... worshipped the Lord."

6. For every person listening, both male and female, young and old, married and unmarried, we can all make the trip back to Bethel that Jacob made. We can go back and repair the relationship with God that may have long been neglected.

Prerequisites for Fatherhood

by Dr. Arnold Lastinger

Introduction

Micah 6:8 "He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?"

Today is Father's Day. The greatest need in our society today is for fathers who will rise up and assume their God-given role of responsibility in the family. Our text gives basic responsibilities for manhood; but when a man becomes a father, those responsibilities are expanded. Let's look:

I. A godly father will love God:

A. Matthew 6:33 "Seek ye first, the kingdom of God…"

B. The basis upon which happiness is built . . .

C. Priorities of relationship

D. If you do not have a right relationship with God, it is futile to think you can relate properly to others.

E. Isaiah 57:21 "There is no peace, saith my God, to the wicked."

F. If you are running from God you will never have peace.

G. Settle that matter first of all.

II. A godly father will love his wife:

A. Ephesians 5:25-33 (READ) "Husbands, love your wives…"

B. Most husbands think "love" is a 3-letter word. . . SEX!

C. While that certainly is a part of love, it is not all. . .

D. Real love seeks to meet all the needs of another person.

E. See I Corinthians 13 for a definition of real love.

F. Romantic actions are not an abandonment of your manliness.

G. Open the car door, pull out her chair at dinner, hold her hand cuddle while watching TV, help make the beds, rinse out the tub when you're finished, the list is endless

H. Your sons are learning from you how to treat their wives.

III. A godly father will love his children:

A. Love is more than provision for material things

B. Don't miss your children's childhood; there is no second chance at childhood.

C. When discipline is required, do it in love: Colossians 3:21

D. Children interpret time spent with them as love.

E. Forget "quality time" vs. "quantity time"

IV. A godly father will be a man of integrity:

A. Text: ". . . to do justly . . . walk uprightly. . ."

B. "Integrity" has become almost a forgotten word.

C. The highest elected office in our land is tainted with the smell of corruption and the president himself has a notorious reputation as a liar.

D. A member of the president's cabinet commits suicide rather than face scrutiny for his financial dealings.

E. Whitewater used to mean a good place to go canoeing instead of a political sewer.

F. We are called to rise above that and be men of integrity.

G. Should permeate every area of our lives.

1. In the workplace; an honest day's toil

2. In the home; fulfilled promises

3. In personal business; prompt payment of obligations

4. In other relationships; commitment to fulfill my commitments

H. We are called to be men of integrity

V. A godly father is a role model of God:

A. The image of a father nowadays is not always a good one.

B. Over half the children in America grow up without a father in the home.

C. Often abandoned by their father or the father is maligned

D. Sexual abuse by the father is on the rise.

E. Then, we tell children that God is their Heavenly Father!

F. Small wonder that they are afraid of Him. God help us!

G. Dad, you are shaping your child's concept of his/her Heavenly Father. They see him as you.

VI. Will you be a godly father…?

Source: From the personal sermon notes collection of Dr. Arnold Lastinger.
Copyright © 2012 The Virtual Preacher All Rights Reserved.

Father's Day: The Model Father

by John A. Huffman, Jr.

Scripture: Luke 15:11-32

We are a society searching for a model father.

Is there any model (for fatherhood)? The answer is yes .... and no. There is no such thing as a perfect human father. Some do it better than others, and, as a result, this comes easier for them. None of us is perfect. I try hard to be a good father, and I fail. But I am not giving up. As a Christian, I know I can't do it perfectly. But I do have a model.

One day Jesus told a story that is probably the most appreciated story in the entire Bible. It has come to be known as the "Parable of the Prodigal Son." We find it recorded in Luke 15:11-32.

I have, on various occasions, used this story as a preaching text, coming at it from various perspectives. I've talked about the Prodigal Son, noting the tendency in some of us to rebel and run away from God's love, entering into a far country, wasting the tremendous inheritance the Lord has given to us in disregard of the price we are paying and the heart of God which is breaking on our behalf. This story, viewed from this perspective, tells us how we can come back to the Lord, our resources exhausted, finding Him loving and waiting for us. It's never too late to come home.

I've preached on this text from the perspective of the elder brother, referring to this as Christ's message to mildewed saints. Isn't it easy to be like this cold, calculating, work-ethic, self-righteous character who did things the way they were supposed to be done, scornful of his younger brother's profligacy, living with a "good-riddance to bad-rubbish" attitude? How stunned he was when the young prodigal returned home only to get a banquet prepared in his honor. How resentful you and I can be, when we've tried to do everything right, when we discover that God embraces, in even deathbed conversions, persons who have wasted their lives. The elder brother puts a mirror up to me, showing me how maybe my motivation for good works wasn't out of love for God and desire to be in relationship with Him but out of pride, arrogance, and self protection.

I've preached about this parable from the perspective of the "waiting father." He stands as a parabolic representation of God. I tried to probe the divine-human interaction of the way in which God deals with you and me in our wild acts of rebellion and in our cold, cynical, calculated self-righteousness. God has a word for both the prodigal and the elder brother. It's an important word in which He calls us both back to ourselves and what it is to be in relationship with Him.

However, during the last few weeks, I have come to this parable from an entirely different perspective. I have been looking all over the place for something more than theory about what it is to be a model father. Suddenly it dawned upon me that it is possible to revisit this parable and see in it the ideal representation of what it is to be a model father. Here we have the father, of whom Jesus tells this story, interacting with his sons in a way which gives insight to you and me of how to be model fathers and, in a broader sense, model parents.

I. The model father teaches the truth from infancy up.

Jesus did not tell this story in a vacuum. He was telling it to Jews, Jews who knew the Old Testament Scriptures, men and women who were familiar with the Mosaic Law. Basic to this great heritage is the parental responsibility to expose one's children to the teachings of the Scriptures, both in precept and in action. Just before entering the Promised Land, Moses reminds the people of Israel:

"Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God is one Lord; and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might. And these words which I command you this day shall be upon your heart; and you shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. And you shall bind them as a sign upon your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. And you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates" (Deuteronomy 6:4-9).

Discipline is essential to this teaching. Moses incorporates these words into his address. "Know then in your heart that, as a man disciplines his son, the Lord your God disciplines you" (Deuteronomy 8:5). And he warns not only fathers but mothers to live themselves under the authority of God's teachings.

As we live under His authority, what we teach our children about the ways of God takes on more existential relevance to them. If I teach them one mode of conduct and live under a different mode myself, they will see the hypocrisy of it all. I must live under the teaching and the discipline of God, even as I endeavor to faithfully teach and discipline my children.

II. The model father has respect for individual autonomy.

What would be your reaction if one of your children came to you, thumbing his nose at you, demanding that you give him total freedom and his fair share to finance his rebellion? That's a tough one, isn't it?

It was not unusual for a Jewish father to distribute his estate before he died if he wished to retire from the actual management of his business affairs. Under the law, there was a clear delineation of his financial responsibilities. The older son must get two-thirds and the younger son one-third. But there is a certain demanding attitude, is there not, on the part of this younger son? He is saying, "Life is too short for me to wait for you to die or to retire. I am going to get it anyway. Give it to me now. I'm bored. I'm hemmed in. I want out!"

The father could have said no. He could have tried to blackmail him, telling him how much more he would have in the long run if he stayed around home. He could have played the comparison game, saying, "Why aren't you a good son like your older brother? What are you trying to do, break your mother's heart?" You know those little games we play!

No, this father was prepared to stand by the teachings and the humble modelings that he and his wife had shared from the infancy of these two boys. He was willing to evaluate each one of them for who they were as individuals. He knew their strengths and weaknesses. He was prepared to let this young man be an adult.

After all, he himself was human. He had had a father who had raised him. He had his own individual sibling rivalries with his brothers and sisters. He knew the feeling of being compared. He knew what it was to want to be his own person. And he knew what it was to rebel.

We don't know the nature of his rebellion. We don't know much about his past. Perhaps he at one time had been a prodigal. Perhaps he at one time had been the elder brother or some interesting blend of both of these personality types. He, too, had his secret sins as well as his more obvious shortcomings.

He wasn't perfect. He knew that God, in His creative design, had not made human persons robots, automatons, who function as mechanical men and women. To be created human was to have freedom to obey or to disobey. This model father had respect for the individual autonomy of each of his sons. So, without preaching a doomsday sermon, he divided his estate. He gave his son what he wanted, and he bid him farewell.

III. The model father won't stand in the way of consequences.

Apparently he had money, and he had servants. He could have played a manipulative game. He could have assigned one of his servants to shadow the rebellious kid, carrying various disguises, going wherever he went, making certain he had no idea he was there, keeping an eye on him and then reporting back what was going on, letting him know if things went well or if things went poorly.

He could have kept track of his associations, so that he wouldn't squander the fortune, thinking, "I've worked hard for all this money, and no son of mine is entitled to waste it." He could have had little anonymous reminders put in his way if he began to get in trouble, "Your father wouldn't like this, would he?" If things got real bad, he could have had him brought home, thinking, "His mother and I could never live with ourselves if we knew our son was hanging out with prostitutes or becoming an alcoholic or catching a venereal disease or marrying outside of our faith." At the first sting of homesickness, he could have had him reminded of his mother's hot chicken soup and the fact that there is always plenty of work here at home.

No, the model father won't stand in the way of consequences. He is not in the business of premature rescue. As much as his heart is breaking, and he knows that there is trouble ahead, he lets go.

I ask you and I ask myself: Is this the kind of father, is this the kind of mother we are? Are we willing to faithfully teach and model? Do we respect the autonomy of our children as they come of age? Are we willing to let them walk away from us, no longer nurtured and controlled by us, but free to live in a tough, hard world unprotected?

The reality is we haven't got much choice. If we don't let them go, they are going to rebel anyway, aren't they? How much better to take the initiative and say, "Hey, this is your life. I've done the best I can. It hasn't been that good at some points. You know my weaknesses and my mistakes. Forgive me for them. It's your life. You know what I believe. I am willing to cut the strings of control. You are free to be who you choose to be, to do what you choose to do, and live with the consequences. You know I love you, and I always will. I may not have always handled you correctly, and I will make my mistakes in the future. But I am your dad."

With a big hug and perhaps a few tears, we are prepared to send them off to seek their own fortune, to face whatever may be the consequences-positive, negative, or in between.

IV. The model father has a love that refuses to give up.

Most of us have a breaking point. We can put up with just so much nonsense. We are patient up to a point. We have hope up to a point. We are willing to be tolerant up to a point.

The fact is that our children have the God-given freedom to go their own ways and never come back. We cannot force them to show us honor. At the same time, God pity the son or daughter who has a parent who has given up on them. Very few experiences could be more devastating than to be disowned by one's parent.

We are called to faithfulness, the same faithfulness that is modeled by the father in this story. Just imagine how the plot would change if the father took the attitude of, "Okay, this is the way my son wants to have it. I'll go along with it. I think it's dumb. He's making a terrible mistake. He is entitled to do it. That's it. But he better never come back here again. I'm done with that ungrateful kid."

Instead we see the father faithfully carrying out his ongoing responsibilities. He is not chasing after the prodigal. But he is daily aware of his breaking heart.

It's important for us to learn how to live with a broken heart. Jesus said, "In this world, you will have trouble. Take courage, I have overcome the world." There is a realistic candor in the biblical teachings. We are alerted to the reality of life. None of us is free from trouble. We are called to continue doing what God has called us to do, while at the same time, we are privileged to scan the horizon just hoping for that reunion with the rebel.

We may have caused some of the rebellion. If so, we need to make our overtures. Perhaps a phone call or a letter that says, "I'm sorry. Forgive me for what I said. I love you. I want a restored relationship with you." I am talking about an initiative that frees the young person to accept it or not accept it. Others have already communicated that love and vulnerability. For you, it's just a matter of going on and fulfilling the responsibilities which you assumed.

Somehow, I am never able to rid myself of the picture of that father who, as he worked his field, was constantly scanning the horizon. Jesus alerts us of that fact. For He says, "But while he was yet at a distance, his father saw him and had compassion and ran and embraced him and kissed him" (Luke 15:20). His was a love that refused to give up.

V. The model father is forgiving.

What would your reaction be if your child did to you what the prodigal did to his father? Being a preacher, I have a sneaking suspicion that I would probably have written a sermon titled, "I Told You So!" I would probably be prepared to deliver this on a moment's notice.

The father in Jesus' story avoids a vindictive attitude. Instead, love explodes within him. He has compassion. He runs, embraces his son, kisses him.

The son gives the speech he has carefully prepared, "Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; I am no longer worthy to be called your son" (Luke 15:18). The father doesn't linger even a minute over the son's acknowledged sinfulness and unworthiness. He is not interested in saying, "I told you so!" Instead, he is overwhelmed with a joy that floods through his system. He can do nothing but rejoice.

VI. The model father is a celebrative person.

He doesn't even give his son a chance to ask to be a servant. He calls for the best robe. In the Hebrew tradition, that robe stands for honor. He calls for a ring. The ring stands for authority. If a man gave another his signet ring, it was the same as giving him power of attorney. He calls for shoes. The shoes stand for a son as opposed to a slave. The children of the family wore shoes. Often the slaves didn't. The slaves dream, in the black spiritual, of a time when, "All God's chillun got shoes." Shoes were the sign of freedom. He calls for a banquet, a feast to make merry, "for this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found" (Luke 15:24).

Are you a celebrative person? I need to work more at this. I am inclined to approach things with that Calvinistic work-ethic. I am not certain that I could have been quite as spontaneous and exuberant as was this model father. I think that I would have to wait to have the party until I had checked into his recidivistic rate. I would want to know whether or not he had really come clean or if he would turn right around and break my heart again. I think I would put the party off for a few months.

I'd give him a job. I'd try to measure how good a job he was doing. After all, it wouldn't be fair to his older brother, my son who had been so faithful, to have this big extravaganza. I guess what I am saying is that I don't like some things I see in myself when I compare myself to this model father. I have to learn. I have to grow. I have to develop, as I take a close look at this biblical example.

VII. The model father is willing to live with ambiguity.

We don't know the end of the story. We do know that the other son got angry. The father had to live with that anger. The other son viewed this as unfair. He wasn't the least bit interested in being part of the celebration.

Jesus had a very interesting way of bringing this story to a conclusion. It ends with the father's response to the elder brother's sneering accusation that there had never been a party for him but that this no-good brother who had devoured the father's hard-earned money with harlots ends up getting the fatted calf killed in his honor.

What's the father's response? He acknowledges the faithfulness of the older brother. He makes no demands for performance on the younger brother. Life goes on.

None of us knows the future, do we? Being a father, being a mother has no sealed and signed guarantees. We are called to live with the ambiguity which is built into relationships. The model father accepts this as a fact of life and moves on, faithfully doing and being what God has called him to do and be, no matter what the significant others in his life choose to do and be.

Our final reward isn't the privilege of sitting back and saying, "Wasn't I a good father?" Granted, we'll have some joys that come from the hoped-for friendship with our children. But the final reward will be when the real model father, God himself, looks us in the eye and says, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant. Enter into your eternal rest."

Remember that the model is God. You and I are not God. We are not perfect. The key is that I am willing to say, "I am sorry," when I am wrong. The key is that I am willing to stand by the children God has given to me when they are wrong.

[Editor's Note: This is excerpted from a sermon delivered by the author on Father's Day.]

Little Children

Recipe: Mango Guacamole

by Preston Maring, MD, Kaiser Permanente Medical Group

Ingredients:

One mango, peeled and diced ( They are very slippery so be careful)
3 avocados, halved, pitted and scooped out
1/2 red onion, diced
1/2 cup minced cilantro
1 medium to large jalapeño, seeded and minced
Juice of 1 lime
Salt and pepper to taste

Directions:

Add everything to a mixing bowl and mash until chunky smooth. I added the avocados last so they wouldn’t turn brown. The mango adds a wonderful sweetness which sets this apart from your usual guacamole. This is good with homemade baked pita chips.

Yield: About three cups

Nutrition Information Per Serving
(1/12th or recipe, or about 1/4 cup):

Calories: 95

Fat: 7 gm
Saturated Fat: 1 gm
Trans Fat: 0 gm
Cholesterol: 43 mg
Carbohydrate: 8 gm

Fiber: 4 gm
Sugars: 3 gm
Sodium: 37 mg (with a few dashes added salt)

Protein: 1 gm

Source: Kaiser Permanente Newsletter

Meaningful Sacrifice: A Course in Christian Spirituality

by Rev. Fr. John-Brian Paprock, Holy Transfiguration Orthodox Chapel, Madison, WI

During the fast of the apostles, we contemplate their sacrifice for the church. At Holy Transfiguration Orthodox Chapel in Madison, Wisconsin, eight sermons on Christian Spirituality were given by Fr. John-Brian Paprock with the theme of "Meaningful Sacrifice" in order to clarify and teach the deeper meaning of Christian sacrifice in real life as well as in metaphor and story.

These eight teaching sermons are based on an excerpt from Second Century Christian theologian, Origen. The excerpt is from his "Homilies on Leviticus" that has been entitled: "Seven Sacrifices - Seven Remissions."

In total, almost four hours of important teaching in developing Christian Spirituality in this course.

This course is free. Holy Transfiguration Mission offers this as part of their Orthodox Christian ministry on the internet.

How to Access the Course

Just go to the page below follow the links to each session.

Meaningful Sacrifice: A Course in Christian Spirituality
http://maruroopa.blogspot.com/2012/04/meaningful-sacrifice-course-in.html

- Part 1: Introduction to Meaningful Sacrifice: Baptism and Martyrdom
- Part 2: Meaningful Sacrifice Introduction - continued: Charitable Giving
- Part 3: The Sacrifice of Forgiving Others
- Part 4: The Sacrifice of Conversion
- Part 5: The True Sacrifice of Christian Love
- Part 6: Confession is a Sacrifice
- Part 7: The Sacrifice of Penance
- Part 8: The Meaning of Christian Sacrifice

[Editor's Note: I have the privilege to know Rev. Fr. John Brian and Teresa Kochamma personally for over a decade. Kochamma is an editor of a professional journal. Achen has written several books and is sought after as a keynote speaker. Both achen and Kochamma possess extraordinary communication skills, explaining often complex theological concepts in simple terms. Achen's original background in Russian Orthodox Church gives him perspectives on Orthodoxy that is also a great help in his sermons and mission. His church in Madison, WI has members from practically all Orthodox churches. We also thank achen and Kochamma for their support of Malankara World.]

Humor: Differences of Opinions

Dr. Eugene Brice tells a delightful but disturbing story about a minister who returned to visit a church he had once served. He ran into Bill, who had been an elder and leader in the church, but who wasn't around anymore. The pastor asked, "Bill, what happened? You used to be there every time the doors opened."

"Well, Pastor," said Bill, "a difference of opinion arose in the church. Some of us couldn't accept the final decision and we established a church of our own."

"Is that where you worship now?" asked the pastor.

"No," answered Bill, "we found that there, too, the people were not faithful and a small group of us began meeting in a rented hall at night."

"Has that proven satisfactory?" asked the minister.

"No, I can't say that it has," Bill responded. "Satan was active even in that fellowship, so my wife and I withdrew and began to worship on Sunday at home by ourselves."

"Then at last you have found inner peace?" asked the pastor.

"No, I'm afraid we haven't," said Bill. "Even my wife began to develop ideas I was not comfortable with, so now she worships in the northeast corner of the living room, and I am in the southwest."

Source: King Duncan, quoting Eugene Brice, Collected Sermons, www.Sermons.com

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